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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518564">heartache</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanjoa/pseuds/ryanjoa'>ryanjoa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, bdubs just enjoys himself, its also pretty, its mostly smut it just jumps right in, keralis is also sad, they fuck and keralis tops</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:54:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,121</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanjoa/pseuds/ryanjoa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>keralis and bdubs have a mutual agreement to aid each other in times of need. unfortunately, though, keralis forgot to turn off the "catching feelings" setting in his brain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>BdoubleO100/Keralis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>146</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>heartache</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>been a hot minute since i've posted anything to ao3. hi! i'm back and have no shame.</p><p>i was noticing a significant lack of bdubs/keralis so i'm here to fix that</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"My Bubbles," Keralis sighed into Bdubs' ear, holding his still-clothed thighs tightly in his hands.</p><p>They had a rhythm they fell into when they got together. They always were in the right mood at the right time, always met in the middle, always knew what the other wanted—needed. It escalated naturally every time, like their lives revolved around only each other in these moments.</p><p>Bdubs' hands found their way to the hem of Keralis' t-shirt and began slowly dragging it up. Keralis sat up and helped him tug it off, then reached down to start pulling Bdubs' own shirt over his head.</p><p>When it came to this, Bdubs was usually the instigator, always recognizing that ache in his chest that meant he was missing from Keralis. That wasn't to say Keralis never called first, he just wasn't as keen as Bdubs was when it came to picking out that feeling.</p><p>"Come back down here," Bdubs mumbled after a beat or two passed of him and Keralis just staring at each other, shirtless, and Keralis dropped his face back down to kiss him again. It was gentle and sweet, both savouring the other with long and deep kisses.</p><p>Maybe the reason Keralis recognized that specific ache in his chest less often than Bdubs did was because it was always present for him. Because, maybe, he couldn't tell the difference between the pain of missing Bdubs—that same pain Bdubs felt when he was missing Keralis—and the constant pain of knowing that they'll never be more than just this.</p><p>Keralis' kisses grew more desperate and sloppy as he tried to force the sudden tightness in his chest away. He wanted to clear his mind and only think about Bdubs, Bdubs, <i>Bdubs</i>. He repeated it in his mind, as if if he did it enough it would work to focus himself. But the thoughts would come back anyway.</p><p><i>Just friends with benefits,</i> his thoughts would tell him, and he would tell his thoughts that he knew that already.</p><p>Bdubs tried to match Keralis' sudden change in pace, kissing back just as hard, giggling against Keralis' mouth. Keralis loved that. He loved the sound of Bdubs' laugh more than anything in the world right now, and kept kissing him deeply trying so hard to convey that feeling.</p><p>He needed to do more to show him. Keralis pulled back up and lowered his hands to the fly of Bdubs' jeans. "Bubbles," he muttered, not knowing what else to say. His speech was hardly above a whisper, but he knew Bdubs heard and felt that same breathlessness he did.</p><p>He'd feel truly connected to Bdubs for a moment, just a couple of seconds, and then he would be reminded by that awful brain of his that they weren't even boyfriends.</p><p>He hooked his fingers in both Bdubs' pants and boxers and shot a small glance up to meet his eyes. Bdubs nodded at him, and Keralis proceeded to drag them down his legs together. When they were fully off and discarded carelessly onto the floor, Keralis began to work on removing his own jeans.</p><p>They weren't lovers of any name, just friends who sometimes have to tend to their physical needs.</p><p>When his own pants were finally off, he made a small gesture to Bdubs with his hand, one they both knew easily: 'Pass the lube.' He dribbled it messily onto his fingers, and laughed when Bdubs flinched as his hand came into contact with him. They made eye contact, Keralis asking for approval once again, and when Bdubs nodded in typical fashion Keralis finally pushed in his one finger.</p><p>This relationship they had was nothing more than physical. It was something that they both needed that they couldn't get anywhere else. Keralis hated to admit how often he had to remind himself of that.</p><p>Bdubs panted—rather loudly, at that—as Keralis worked in a second finger. He couldn't help but giggle at how quickly Bdubs came undone, bright red and rocking down into Keralis' hand. When Keralis spread his fingers apart inside of him, Bdubs whimpered quietly.</p><p>"C'mon, you can be louder than <i>that</i>, Bubbles," Keralis soothed and grabbed Bdubs' dick gently with his other hand.</p><p>Bdubs seemed to take that to heart, because instantly after, he let out a soft moan, which sounded like he had been holding it in for a while. When Keralis finally put in a third finger, and started stroking him at the same slow speed he fingered him, Bdubs only got louder. "Keralis," he sighed.</p><p>"Yeah?" Keralis kept his pace slow and steady.</p><p>"J-just go for it already," Bdubs said.</p><p>Keralis hummed in thought. "Go for what?" he teased. They'd never really done this kind of thing, making the other speak bluntly for what they wanted. They sort of just always knew each other well enough to not have to. This time, though, Keralis wanted to hear Bdubs really ask for it, stuttering messily, because if Keralis had to endure this heartache, he'd at least try to make the most of it.</p><p>"I—what do you want me to say?" Bdubs blushed nervously up at Keralis, who was enjoying it immensely. "St—uh—stick it in already?"</p><p>"Stick what in?"</p><p>Bdubs sighed impatiently and rolled down on Keralis' fingers again. "J-just... just fuck me already, please," he begged weakly. "W-with that ... dick of yours."</p><p>Keralis giggled. There it was, a little weaker than he had hoped but a beg nonetheless. "Sure." He pulled both his hands away and Bdubs shuddered at the loss. Keralis grabbed the lube once more and slicked himself up, then wiped his hand on the bedsheets. They were going to need washing anyway, so he didn't care. He put his hands on Bdubs' hips, gripping them, and smiled at him from above.</p><p>"You're ready?" he asked softly. Bdubs nodded.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Keralis looked down and lined himself up with Bdubs' entrance. He pushed in slowly, watching and reading Bdubs' face. He seemed good to go further.</p><p>God. It felt so nice to bottom out inside of Bdubs. He could never get tired of being with him like this. He leaned forwards, putting his and Bdubs' foreheads together, and closed his eyes.</p><p>This was it. This was the reason he endured all that heartache, and why he would continue to moving forward.</p><p>He didn't realize he was holding his breath, or that he had even stopped all movement at all, really, until Bdubs tapped his arm, causing Keralis to open his eyes.</p><p>"You're good," Bdubs muttered with a smile.</p><p>Keralis smiled back down at him and gave him a kiss at the corner of his lips. He pulled his hips back, until he was almost fully out, then started pushing back in.</p><p>They moaned in sync the first time, and then Bdubs kept going. Keralis really did like how noisy he was.</p><p>"C'mon," Bdubs sighed and dug his fingers into Keralis' shoulders. Keralis dipped his head into Bdubs' neck and started moving quicker, yet apparently still too slow.</p><p>Bdubs groaned and said, "Faster yet..."</p><p>Keralis followed the order and picked up the pace, pumping relatively quickly into him now.</p><p>Bdubs moaned loudly right in Keralis' ear, and Keralis jerked rather out of rhythm. "Ah—Bubbles, my Bubbles," Keralis panted out the nickname and moved harder and faster. Calling Bdubs that name was habit, he couldn't help himself, even if it sounded so childish. It was his own name for Bdubs and he'd keep using it.</p><p>"Fuck," Bdubs dragged out and groaned loudly. "That's it."</p><p>Keralis whined and kissed Bdubs' neck as he thrusted quick and hard into the other. He needed this, he knew he needed this. He never once doubted for a second that this was entirely what he needed (okay, maybe he did doubt it a little). The only thought that swirled through his head was how much he loved and needed Bdubs like this, how perfectly the two of them fit together.</p><p>He felt one of Bdubs' hands fall off of his shoulder and move between them to his own dick, stroking himself at a matching pace to the one Keralis had set.</p><p>Keralis moaned breathlessly, his face still buried in Bdubs' shoulder. Bdubs, contrarily, moaned, whined, and whimpered so god damn loud that if they actually had any neighbours, they would've been woken up.</p><p>"Fuck," Bdubs cried. "Keralis, Keralis, please."</p><p>"I'm close," Keralis mumbled back, faltering in his rhythm but quickly finding it again. "C'mon, Bubbles, come for me."</p><p>And on that command, Bdubs did. He groaned and shook, come shooting up to Keralis' stomach and back onto his own. Keralis began fucking harder into him, trying to quickly come to his own release.</p><p>He didn't have to wait long before finally reaching his own orgasm as well, thrusting a few more times, slowing down as he emptied out into Bdubs. After a moment, he pulled out, come dripping on the sheets, and all that stamina he had just had quickly died, resulting in him collapsing on top of the other. He panted, out of breath.</p><p>Bdubs ran his dry hand through Keralis' hair and kissed his forehead. "C'mon, let's clean up," he said softly, his voice a little hoarse.</p><p>Keralis shifted to look at Bdubs and smiled at him. He couldn't find any words to say as it felt like an arrow pierced through his heart.</p><p>"You did so good," Bdubs cooed as he pet Keralis' head. "Real good..."</p><p>Keralis almost burst right into tears at that, but he didn't. He couldn't. He needed this, he needed Bdubs more than anything, and he couldn't do anything that might stop this from happening. If Bdubs was content with no romance, Keralis was too, because it was better than nothing.</p><p>"Thanks. I just need a moment," Keralis mumbled and closed his eyes. His breathing began to even out as he listened to Bdubs' heartbeat, himself rising and falling with his chest.</p><p>Keralis finally pushed himself up and rolled over onto his back. "You get the cloth?" he asked in a light tone.</p><p>"Alright," Bdubs said as he got up from the bed, taking some kind of pity on the completely spent Keralis. While he was briefly gone, Keralis slowly sat himself up and looked to the floor for his underwear and t-shirt he could put back on to sleep in.</p><p>They were friendly enough, at least, to cuddle the other to sleep afterwards. They frequently had breakfast together in the mornings as well. It never went beyond that, though. The second one or the other stepped outside, they would both pretend to forget about it.</p><p>Keralis was exhausted of that. But he needed Bdubs, and that was the price he paid.</p><p>Bdubs finally came back, damp cloth in hand, and crawled back onto the bed. "Cleaned myself when I was in there, kinda just made sense to," he explained, the bounce in his voice never wavering. He began wiping up the mess he made on Keralis' stomach.</p><p>"Thanks, sweet face," Keralis giggled, trying to get back into his charming character.</p><p>"No problem." Bdubs, quite literally, tossed the cloth onto the floor. Keralis got up off the bed and picked up his shirt from the floor. "Are you going?" Bdubs asked, and if Keralis was just a bit more obsessed, he might've thought he heard disappointment in his voice.</p><p>"No, just trying not to sleep completely naked." He did hope a little bit that that <i>was</i> disappointment from Bdubs' end, though.</p><p>Bdubs chuckled and threw the blankets open, inviting Keralis to join him. "Oh, c'mon. Like we haven't done that before."</p><p>"It leaves one less step in the morning," Keralis said and threw Bdubs his shirt, the same one he had practically ripped off of his body earlier. "Oh, and these." He tossed Bdubs' boxers to him as well as he slid on his own.</p><p>"Geez, you're making me sleep in dirty clothes?" Bdubs said, but put them on anyway.</p><p>"You were gonna put them on in the morning anyways," Keralis retorted with as he finally crawled under the blankets with Bdubs.</p><p>Bdubs only hummed in response, more focused now on cuddling right up to Keralis. They faced one another, legs tangling together and arms holding the other close. Bdubs placed a kiss to Keralis' head.</p><p>Keralis smiled and closed his eyes, feeling comfortable and safe here in bed with Bdubs. The dread in his chest had finally died down, but it still lingered in the back of his mind. He could deal with it some other time, because right now he had to embrace Bdubs while he could—while he was allowed to.</p><p>Because once he stepped outside, it would be over.</p>
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